Regarding one’s outlook toward his wife, the writer of Proverbs, Chapter 31, said, “Give her the product of her hand, and let her works praise her in the gate.”
Today I would like to send a few lines with the intention of fulfilling that admonition … I would like to tell you that 15 years ago today my wife, Shelley, bravely raised her right hand and swore to “support and defend the constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic ….” She was commissioned as a nurse officer in the U.S. Air Force and I had the privilege of administering that oath at a simple ceremony with family and friends present in the chapel hall at Kirtland Air Force Base, New Mexico. The cake had an image of “Hotlips Houlihan” on top!
What I think is amazing is that Shelley took this bold step as a mother of four children at home, the oldest age 13 and the youngest age six. Her decision to enter the military was the result of months of prayer and seeking after wisdom. It was not an easy decision and it has not been an easy life, but it has been very rewarding. She’s one of those incredible Moms who can handle home, work, shift work, children, and military duties. Her earnest prayer was that any military career would not hurt our children. While certainly not for everyone, it’s been right for Shelley.
Always one to keep busy with her civilian nursing career, Shelley realized that once I entered active duty we would be moving a lot, and she would be starting at the bottom of the job list with each successive move. What began as an idea in observing a female officer neighbor emerged into reality after many months. The road was full of challenges: the disbelief of the recruiter she and I visited together, the humility of going through MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) complete with a “duck walk” in her underwear with others young enough to be her kids, the incredulous response from nearly everyone we told concerning this venture. The chorus of negativity could have been deafening.
But, armed with a sincere belief that this was God’s will for our family, my full support (and, usually, a good attitude!), the unanimity of our children’s assent, and the timely encouragement of a certain chaplain who is now responsible for all Air Force chaplains we pushed ahead. And the rest is history.
When we have a vision of what is right for us we need to pursue it diligently. There will always be detractors. Push ahead anyway. Just make sure you know it’s right for you.
Six assignments later, an unaccompanied Korea tour for me (leaving her alone with four kids, military shift work, and seven TDYs that year), six months living in a tent in a war zone at the beginning of Operation Iraqi Freedom, holding it together during my two deployments, and living apart for a year to accommodate educational assignments, it has all been more than worth it!
Thanks, Shelley, for serving! Our great nation and our family are far better because you have served!
Our four kids and (so far) one grandchild and I rise up and bless you!... Read more here
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I recently met Marshele Waddell, wife of Navy SEAL Mark Waddell, who was an enlisted sailor for eight years before commissioning and retiring as a Navy Commander. She speaks openly and honestly about the challenges to marriage from PTSD and TBI, both of which have affected her husband from his multiple deployments to combat zones. She also speaks openly of her hope for lives affected by PTSD. You may want to check out her Web site at: www.hopeforthehomefront.com and see for yourself.... Read more here
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